🛑 Call a Time Out — Before Life Calls It for You

Why The Most Powerful Move You Can Make Is To Pause

The Comeback Starts with a Time Out

Aubrey competing at World Table Tennis Youth Contender

A few weeks ago, my daughter Aubrey competed in the World Table Tennis (WTT) Youth Contender international competition in San Francisco. It was a high-stakes match in the Under-13 (U13) division, and she was down 3–8 in the fourth game. Her opponent only needed three more points to reach 11 — the number required to win the game — and if that happened, Aubrey would lose the match.

In table tennis, matches are typically played as best-of-five — the first player to win three games takes the match. Aubrey had already lost two of the first three games, and if she lost this one, the match would be over.

Then something remarkable happened. Without any prompting, she calmly walked over to the referee and said, “Time Out.”

At 11 years old, Aubrey had the presence of mind to know she needed to reset.

She sat by herself for a minute and took a sip of water. And then, she walked back onto the court and played with a whole new energy. She clawed her way back point by point, won the fourth game, and then took the fifth to win the match. A week later, she went on to take the gold medal in the U13 girls' event at the Silicon Valley Championships.

That one moment — when she called a Time Out on her own — stayed with me. Because for so many of us, especially Asian women in high-pressure environments, we forget we can call Time Out. We wait for someone to give us permission. Or we push through until we crash.

I know I did.

The Hustle Was My Badge of Honor

In the early days of my career, I was the person who prided herself on never taking vacation. I’d stay late, come in early, and never complain. I had weeks of unused leave piling up, and I wore that like a badge of honor. I thought it made me look dedicated and reliable. The kind of person who would never inconvenience a manager or colleague.

And in some ways, it worked. I was seen as dependable. I got more responsibility. But the truth?

I was exhausted. I ate whatever was quick and convenient. I stopped exercising. I wasn’t sleeping well. I ignored all the signals my body was sending me.

Until one night, after grinding through hours of nonstop work, my body gave out and I passed out asleep at my desk.

When I opened my eyes, the office was pitch black. The only light came from the glow of my computer screen. It was past midnight and everyone was gone. For a moment, I panicked, afraid I’d been locked in. Luckily, I found my way out.

That moment jolted me — not just awake, but into awareness. I had been sprinting on a treadmill that had no off switch. And I was the one who had refused to step off.

The Cultural Scripts We Inherit

For many Asian women, this script is all too familiar.

We grow up with values that center on hard work, respect, sacrifice, and harmony. We’re taught to endure quietly. To show our worth through diligence and output. To avoid being “selfish,” even when self-care is survival.

And so, we hustle. We over-perform. We strive to prove our value — not just because we want to succeed, but because we feel we have to.

But here's the thing: no one gives out gold medals for burnout.

There’s no trophy for ignoring your needs.

Time Out Is Actually Time In

What struck me after watching Aubrey’s match is how parents use "Time Out" as a disciplinary tactic for kids. You misbehaved? Go sit in the corner and think about what you did.

But Time Out is not a punishment. It’s actually a gift.

Time Out is Time In. It's the moment we pause, check in with ourselves, and ask: What do I need right now? What’s really going on inside me? What will help me move forward with clarity and power?

That’s exactly what Aubrey did.

That’s what I finally learned to do — years later.

And that’s what I did last weekend when I called my own Time Out: camping in Sonoma.

The Weekend I Called Time Out

Last weekend, I took a break. A real one.

Not the kind where you're still half-checking your email or squeezing in one more call. I unplugged. I hiked in the redwoods. I sat by the fire pit. I listened to the wind and the quiet hum of nature. And I remembered what it felt like to just be — not perform, produce, or plan.

That weekend gave me more clarity than any productivity hack ever has.

Hiking in the redwoods

And it reminded me of three powerful truths about calling Time Out:

1. Time Out Builds Self-Awareness

When you step away from the noise, you can finally hear your own voice. You notice how you're feeling — physically, mentally, emotionally. You become attuned to what energizes you and what drains you. We need time out to recognize what’s out of balance in our own lives.

2. Time Out Helps You Regain Control

Burnout often feels like losing control, like life is happening to you. When you call time out, you reclaim your agency. You say: I get to decide when to pause, reflect, and redirect. I’m not just reacting — I’m choosing.

3. Time Out Prepares You for a Stronger Comeback

Rest is not the opposite of productivity. It’s what makes productivity possible. Just like an athlete needs recovery to perform at their best, so do we. The comeback in your career, your creativity and your leadership always begins with restoration.

You Deserve to Call Time Out

So here’s your reminder:You don’t need to earn your rest.You don’t need permission to pause.You don’t have to wait until you crash.

You can call Time Out now. Not because you're weak — but because you're wise enough to know that rest is part of the journey.

Whether it's a walk outside, a weekend away, or just 10 minutes of stillness, give yourself that gift.

Because your best self doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from giving yourself the gift of Time Out.

💬 Your Turn

When was the last time you called Time Out — not for your kid, not for your team, but for you?

What did you learn from it?

I’d love to hear your story. Share in the comments if this resonated. And if you’ve been running on empty, let this be your sign:

Take a breath. Take a beat. Take a Time Out.

Your comeback starts now.

P.S.: This article was first published at deniseang.substack.com/p/icanmindset. Subscribe at deniseang.substack.com for free to receive new posts and support my work.